It's Complicated
by MouHitoriNoKei
Summary: Touko has mixed feelings about everything and anything involving N. Not even the lights of Nimbasa City can help her figure it out.  Hinted at N/Touko, very faint though


Her body froze and she found herself at a loss for words, a loss for any logical thought. The only thing she could focus on clearly was the shiver that ran up and down her spine. The sky was passing her by at an alarming rate and this particular moment, where she felt so helpless and small, suspended as he drew closer. What was coming over her? Why was her body betraying her in such an obvious and embarrassing way?

The Ferris wheel, silent and beautiful, circled around in its predetermined path and stopped for a few moments at the very top. Nimbasa glittered in the night, each light a symbol of life. The stars rivaled the beauty of the bustling city, the lights overpowering what lay millions of miles away. The remainder of the cars on the Ferris wheel were empty and the only visible life came from the one at the very top of the ride's cycle.

He spoke and she felt herself numb, her eyes drawn to his. Gold, shimmering and alluring, looked through her rather than at her. She swallowed the lump in her throat when he began to speak, unsure if her own arguments would shatter the bitter sweetness of it all, "You do understand, don't you?" N asked, his voice soft, its gentility almost melodic. It paralyzed her and for a moment, a single millisecond, she wanted to believe his cause, fight alongside him and believe that what he was doing would have an outcome they both could be proud of.

Shaking her head, Touko attempted to furrow her brow, looking everything but threatening, "I don't," Her answer revealed itself in a timid voice but she tried her hardest to hide that uncertainty, that quiver. The small smile N wore was her answer; she was an open book. No, she truly did not believe in his words but despite that, the urge to be close to this elusive man was growing within her, pulsating as her heart was in her chest, erratic and uneven.

Extending two slender fingers, N touched her face, curling his digits beneath her chin and tilting her gaze just slightly, studying her face. The soft jingle of the gold bracelets on his wrist echoed through Touko's mind as she caught a gasp in the very back of her throat. His fingertips were warm, burning invisible marks against her cheek. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

He towered over her. Blue eyes met gold and they mingled, sharing secrets not even words could properly express. He said nothing, only stared. N shifted his weight from one foot to the other, that smile still settled upon his thin lips. Olive tresses fell down his back, framing his face and accenting those golden orbs. Touko was baffled by the absence of anything but her want to place her own hand upon his, wanting to complicate an already complicated situation.

Touko felt herself leaning forward, feeling the heat of his breath against her face. Everything was steady, each movement calculated and fitting perfectly into these few fleeting moments. Her eyes fluttered shut, feeling herself giving in, surrendering to something she only just now realized she had been fighting against. The levies were breaking, everything rushing to her head in one swift motion. She didn't believe in what he fought for but she might have believed in him…

The Ferris wheel descended and the faint jostling freed Touko from the spell she was under. She gasped softly as N retracted his fingers and took a step back, his hands slithering slowly into his pockets. Her cheeks flushed and her face burned. What had just happened? How long had they been standing there in that silence? Once the ride's capsule returned to its starting point and the doors opened, N chuckled softly and stepped out, looking back over his shoulder at the now obviously flustered Touko.

"Maybe one day, you will." N turned on his heel and sauntered off. Touko, cheeks burning hotter then she could ever have imagined, remained in the Ferris Wheel's car, determined that one more go around would clear her mind, certain that the glimmering lights of Nimbasa would liberate her mind from his eyes, his smile, his voice…

Once more, maybe twice, tops.


End file.
